An ingenious method that will teach a small child not to interrupt adults. Advice for parents "How to teach a child not to interrupt adults." consultation on what to do if the child interrupts

The topic of our conversation today is simple and complex at the same time. Indeed, today no one is able to give an exhaustive answer to the question: is interrupting rude or, on the contrary, a sign of active participation in the conversation? Why is it sometimes so difficult to adhere to the classical culture of speech? How to stop interrupting each other, or do it unnoticed by others?

About times, about customs

In a traditional society, it is believed that interrupting an interlocutor is very bad. And the only reason why a person can interrupt himself to afford something like this is a bad upbringing, or a vulgar attempt to draw attention to his person. However, these norms of etiquette came to us from those distant times, when people's lives were several times slower and calmer, there was little new information in principle, and mannered conversations “about nothing” were one of the few entertainments of the “pre-electric” era.

Since then, society has changed a lot, and the further - the faster these changes occur. During your heyday and huge information processing loads, the reasons for being interrupted can be completely natural. Whether to blame the new features of the human brain on our attachment to various gadgets is another question ...

Simply put, one of the most common reasons for interrupting an interlocutor is that a person is simply afraid of forgetting his question, idea or comment. Because we talk many times faster and more informationally rich than a hundred years ago. We jump from topic to topic, and after a couple of minutes sometimes we can’t even remember how it all began!

Often the desire to interrupt the interlocutor, insert some kind of remark, clarify an incomprehensible statement is the same contribution to the conversation as new ideas, and a return to what was said, and argumentation. In modern journalism, it is believed that interrupting is a sign of active participation in a conversation, and a person who is quite interested.

Interruption is almost inevitable when the dialogue turns into an argument - unless it is a scientific or political debate, where there is no place for the manifestation of ordinary human emotions. This phenomenon is also characteristic of large groups of people: the more participants in the conversation who want to speak at the same time, the more the conversation resembles television talk shows (in other words, a chicken coop).

How to teach not to interrupt?

The child, among other things, has his own reasons for interrupting adults. Even if we exclude the possibility that he simply copies the manner of communication of other family members (“why can they, but suddenly I can’t?”), You need to understand that children preschool age self-centered by nature - this is normal. And if they need something from adults, they try to communicate it immediately. Moreover, children perceive time in a completely different way, and the seconds of waiting in our understanding last much longer for them ...

In general, getting angry at a child and giving him harsh lectures about the need for respect for elders is unfair and useless. Remember how at school we were just taught to raise our hand when we wanted to say something? At that moment, when the teacher asked a question, and the students knew the answer to it, many could not stand it and shouted from their seats. Others bounced on hard chairs and looked at the teacher with a pleading look in their eyes. It was not so easy - to take and hold your tongue! For some, this “syndrome” subsequently persisted until the senior classes ...

And there is nothing to say about preschoolers. Probably, every parent is familiar with the situation when, during a conversation with someone, a small son or daughter is pulled by the sleeve and interrupted. But if you are firmly convinced that you need to teach your child to behave like an adult as early as possible, do not use rude phrases like “don’t interrupt!”, “don’t get into a conversation!” or "wait!" - It is better to take note of a simple technique that will help solve this problem once and for all.

When the child needs something from you, just put his hand on your wrist and wait a few seconds. In response, without looking up from the conversation, put your hand on top of the child's hand - so that he knows that they paid attention and remember his presence. When you have finished your thought, turn to your child and listen carefully to reinforce the positive attitude towards waiting your turn. Give an exhaustive answer or give him the help he asked for - and everyone will only win.

How to interrupt correctly?

As mentioned above, interrupting is not always a bad thing. And sometimes this is generally the only way to get the conversation back on track and get the information you need. The ability to maintain a conversation and at the same time “guide” the interlocutor in time, without hurting his feelings, will be very useful for adolescents who, in addition to peers already “accustomed to everything”, begin to meaningfully communicate with people of all ages.

It must be remembered that the interlocutor always gives us the opportunity to interrupt him. But this must be done in such a way that he does not think that our questions are much more interesting to us than his answers. To begin with, we note: no one ever speaks without pauses, which, if desired, can be recognized in time. Certain verbal and non-verbal cues can serve as clues:

The interlocutor indicates intonationally that he is ending the speech period, or his gestures indicate that it is time to stop and change the subject
= the speech of the interlocutor is delayed and it is felt that he is at a loss with the final phrase; but not while he is looking for the right words, while raising his eyes up is a signal that he should not be interrupted (“uh”, “well-uh”, “how to say this”, etc. .)
= the interlocutor uses the following expressions to catch his breath: “so”, “nevertheless”, “and yet”, “well, what else to say”, etc.

There is no such question that could not be asked, starting from any thought or phrase of your interlocutor. When, taking advantage of a pause in his words, we ask a question, on the one hand, confirming that we hear him, and on the other hand, directing the conversation in the direction we need, mutual understanding not only does not disappear, but is strengthened. This is not perceived as tactlessness at all.

It is not forbidden to interrupt even in the case when the interlocutor does not answer the question posed by us. However, you should not do this in a harsh form: "I'm sorry, but you still haven't answered my question." It’s better to make a beautiful gesture and take responsibility: “I’m sorry, I probably didn’t formulate my question clearly, I’ll try to rephrase it ...”

Parents, of course, try to teach their child politeness and rules of conduct. “Don't interrupt adults” is what children usually hear. But it kind of tells them that their words are not as important as the conversation of adults. And it’s quite difficult to instill this rule in a preschooler, he still lacks patience.

In this case, a simple but ingenious method can come in handy to help gently teach a child not to interrupt adults.

How to teach a child not to interrupt adults

Kids usually have a lot going on. Often they are just bursting to say something and run straight to me to tell me what's on their mind, whether or not I'm already talking to someone.

So they are used to it.

This was before I saw this really ingenious method from my friend.

I chatted with her once when her (then 3-year-old) son wanted to say something. Instead of interrupting our conversation, he simply put his hand on her wrist and waited. My friend put her hand over his to signal him and we continued to chat.

After she finished her conversation, she turned to him. I was delighted! So simple. So soft. So respectful for both the child and the adult. Her son had to wait a few seconds for his mother to finish her sentence, after which she turned her full attention to him.

My husband and I immediately adopted this technique. We explained to the children that if they want to talk and someone is already talking, they should put their hands on our wrists and wait.

It took a little practice and a few light pressures on our own wrists as gentle reminders, but I'm glad the kids stopped interrupting us!

No more "Wait" or "Don't interrupt adults."

Just a simple gesture - lightly touch the wrist. That's all.

How to teach a child not to interrupt elders? A simple technique from a wise mother.

Kids usually have a lot going on. Often they are just bursting to say something and run straight to me to tell me what's on their mind, whether or not I'm already talking to someone. So they are used to it. This was before I saw this really ingenious method from my friend.

How easy it is to teach a child not to interrupt

My husband and I immediately adopted this technique. We explained to the children that if they want to talk and someone is already talking, they should put their hands on our wrists and wait.

It took a little practice and a few light pressures on our own wrists as gentle reminders, but I'm glad the kids stopped interrupting us!

No more "Wait" or "Don't interrupt adults." Just a simple gesture - lightly touch the wrist. That's all. It works! published

If in your family children never interrupt adults during a conversation, then either your younger generation is perfectly brought up, or there are simply too few to talk. For those who don't know how to teach kids not to interrupt you, here are our tips.

Photo from www.wclub.ru

Tip 1: Explain.

Tell your child why you shouldn't interrupt adults when they are talking. Do this when you are alone. Do not under any circumstances criticize him in public. Give examples of why interrupting is bad. For example, you can describe a situation where two children are discussing cars, and an adult constantly intervenes in the conversation, talking about how useful it is to eat porridge. Let your baby feel how bad it is to disturb the harmony of the conversation.

Tip 2: Plan ahead.

If you know that guests are coming to you today or you are going to talk on the phone for a long time, then warn the child about this. Tell your child that you will be busy for some time on an important matter. To eliminate the possibility of the child interfering in the conversation, find an interesting activity for him during this time. You can create additional motivation for him. For example: “play quietly while I talk with Aunt Ira, and then we will build a castle together with you.”

Photo from foma.ru

Tip 3: Show off your good manners.

Sooner or later, but you will have a situation when, during a conversation with friends, you will constantly hear "Mom, and I ...". It's important to keep your composure, even if it's the 5th time your baby wants to talk to you. If you politely and affectionately ask the child not to interrupt, then on the 2nd or 3rd attempt, he will understand this. Most importantly, don't scream.

Tip 4: Come up with a signal.

Young children always require attention and you just need to listen to them. Create a special signal that will indicate that your baby wants to tell you something, and you should stop. For example, hand touch works great. During the conversation, your child may come up to you and gently touch your hand. This will mean that as soon as you finish the phrase, you will listen to him. And aerobatics is to teach a child to say the signal word "I'm sorry, mom, but I ..."

Photo from ria.ru

Tip 5: Stage it.

Sometimes you need to say 100 times so that the child remembers what you want from him. An effective way to teach your baby not to interrupt you is to do a little staging. Invite a friend to visit who will be happy to help you, and act out a situation where adults communicate, and the child needs to tell his mother something. Tell how the baby should behave and let him try to do it. Replay the situation a few times to make it stick. Do not forget to praise and encourage the child in his actions.

It's 5 simple ways How to teach a child not to interrupt. You can use any of them or tell us about your method. Dear readers, share your experience with us. Maybe your advice will be useful to moms, and we will prepare a new selection of useful tips for you.

The child has learned to ask questions, talk about his feelings - parents are sincerely happy about this. But when he interrupts them during a conversation, they get upset. It is not difficult to teach a child to listen: first you need to determine the cause, and then hiccup measures of influence.

Why do children interrupt?

Before punishing a toddler for preventing two adults from concentrating on a conversation, you need to understand why he does this. A small child interrupts because they consider their parents property. And up to three years to convince that they can have their own business, it will not succeed. Although it is necessary to say that it is not good to interrupt.

An older child may interrupt when:

Wants to say something important, but is afraid to forget it.
In children 3-4 years old, memory is not well developed.
Not familiar with the rules of communication.
Applies aggressively to the one he interrupts.
Impatient.
Wants to attract attention from the speakers.

In addition, the constant interruption of speakers (adults or peers), intrusion into other people's games, talkativeness may indicate.

What to do if the child interrupts?

So that children do not interfere with talking to others, you need to use constructive methods that are selected depending on the age of the child.

How to teach not to interrupt a baby (up to 3 years old)?

So that a small child does not interfere with the conversation, you must follow the following rules:

Before the conversation, it is important to warn the baby, indicating the expected time of the conversation - "I will talk with Aunt Masha while you make a sand cake."
At the time of the conversation, take the child with an interesting thing.
Do not demand non-intervention from the child for more than 5-7 minutes, he is not able to withstand longer, it is better to think over the shift activities for the child in advance.
When communicating with friends, do not lose eye contact with the child, smile so that he has the illusion of participating in the conversation.

When communicating with a baby, it is important to first listen to him carefully, without interrupting, and then speak out yourself. Such actions will help to teach the child to listen attentively to others from an early age.

If a preschooler interrupts?

Guys at this age do not just interrupt, they complement and clarify, showing their “maturity” and significance. Any wrong statement can cause them a feeling of humiliation, rejection. In order not to reduce cognitive interest, you can not show your irritation and anger .

It is important to pay attention to the following points:

The child considers himself an adult, so it should not be pointed out that he has not grown up to serious conversations. It is better to focus on the fact that everyone wants to express their own opinion. It is necessary to give the opportunity to speak to the interlocutor, and then speak for yourself.
The incorrect behavior can be explained by an example: if everyone interrupts, then instead of a pleasant conversation, an incomprehensible noise will turn out, in which it will be difficult to make out the words of each.
It is necessary to constantly remind that in a conversation it is important to stick to a given topic. If one person is talking about airplanes, then the other person's statement about pets will be inappropriate.
The rules of etiquette need to be taught not at the moment of their violation, in public, but in private, without witnesses. Otherwise, the child will consider himself humiliated and insulted, and in this state it is very difficult to correctly assess the situation.
If the baby continues to interrupt, you can stage the situation when he is interrupted. Let him describe the sensations at this moment, evaluate the behavior of the interrupter, consider the situation from the position of the offended, and not the offending.

If the child interferes in the conversation of adults?

Children require a lot of attention from their parents, so they can interrupt them during an important conversation, demanding to perform some action (put on socks or get a toy). More often than not, they get the attention. Albeit not in the form they would like, but in the form of negative “You-statements” (“You are in the way”, “You are behaving badly”) or shouting (“Go away”, “Do not interfere”, “Go play "). Sometimes adults move into another room or start talking louder, unconsciously allowing children to manipulate them.

At the same time, the child may have a feeling of uselessness, loneliness, he will be capricious in spite, behave even worse.

To avoid such consequences, it is better to use constructive methods:

Getting to know the rules of etiquette . It is important to convey to the baby that everyone wants to be listened to. Only those who respect him can listen to the speaker. It is unpleasant for interlocutors when they interrupt: the speaker may get confused in the thought being expressed, and the one who listens will not be able to understand what it is about. The conversation must be confirmed by practice: if adults do not know how to talk calmly without interrupting, they will not be able to convey the need for such behavior to the child.
Explanation . Talking about why it is not good to interrupt others should be done in private. An example can be given: two guys are talking about toys, and an adult interrupts them, arguing that playing computer games for a long time is harmful.
Treaty . Expecting guests, you can agree in advance with the baby that he will not interfere. You should also discuss what the child will be doing at this time, what he will need for this, and prepare the necessary things right away so as not to be distracted later. You can additionally motivate the baby with a joint walk or game, as well as indicate a specific time range on the clock when the child will have to behave approximately. It is also important to warn guests not to react to the baby, otherwise the oral contract will be terminated, and the adult will be to blame.
Choice . If the child is naughty, he can be taken aside and offered to leave the room or stay, but be quieter. Here you need to be consistent: the baby himself makes a decision and acts in accordance with the specified rules.
Tactile attention . So that the child does not interrupt during the conversation, you can agree with him that if he wants to say something important, he should simply touch the parent's hand. When mom or dad can get distracted, they will definitely turn to him. It is important at the same time to show that the baby is important, that he was felt, and for this it is enough to put an adult on top of the child's hand or shake it.

You should always respond to the child's attempt to attract attention. In any situation, it is important to remain calm.

When communicating, use "I-statements":

When they shout loudly, I cannot hear the interlocutor.
When I am distracted, I cannot understand what is being said.
When I'm interrupted, I can't concentrate.

After that, you can again give the baby a choice: “What can I do to calmly talk with guests for ten minutes?” A personal example, calmness and patience (even if the baby came up with the same question 5 times) will help to bring up a good listener in the child.