I want a child, but I have no one to give birth to. What to do? From whom to have children? I want a child, but I have no one to give birth to! what to do

Almost every woman at some point in her life thinks about having a child. It’s good if the beloved man is also a husband, then the question of who will give birth automatically disappears. And so everything is clear - from my beloved husband. But often the situation is somewhat different: a loved one, but not a husband, or a husband, but an unloved one. Who should you choose to be your child's father?

It is impossible to give a definite answer to the question of who to give birth to? Each situation has its own characteristics and requires an individual approach. Therefore, when making such a responsible decision, try to weigh the pros and cons. After all, you decide not only your own fate, but also the future of your child.

Beloved, but not a husband

The romance between Sergei and Svetlana was a standard love triangle, where everyone knows their place. Sergei was married and could only offer the girl a “secret” affair: meetings during working hours and rare joint “business trips.” At the very beginning of their relationship, Sergei warned that under no circumstances would he leave the family. Then Svetlana didn’t insist, she felt good anyway. The girl enjoyed rare but stormy meetings with her beloved and did not demand anything in return. But, having learned about her pregnancy, Svetlana was scared: “Will I be able to raise the baby alone?” Sergei insisted on it for a long time, and then disappeared without any explanation. The girl didn't even try to find him. “After all, you cannot force a person to fulfill his parental duty.” Now Svetlana’s son is already one and a half years old and she has never regretted that she gave birth to a child from her beloved man. Of course, it was very difficult both morally and financially. But this child is a “fruit of love”, which Svetlana perceives as the last gift of her beloved.

So, you are madly in love with him and dream of a child from the man you love. But for a number of “good” reasons, he cannot become your husband. To give birth or not to give birth? First of all, try to honestly answer the question: what do you really want - to give birth to a child from the man you love or to tie this man to you with the help of a child? If you really dream about a child and do not hope to stimulate a man to take more active actions in this way, then there is nothing illegal in this. In order to experience the joy of motherhood, it is absolutely not necessary to get married. Agree, no one knows when you will meet your beloved and only one who will happily take you to the registry office. What if this never happens or only happens in old age, when it is too late to think about children. In this case, the decision to give birth or not should be made only by you. After all, you will have to raise a child alone, without counting on anyone's help. And initially you need to be prepared for a number of difficulties.

If you have firmly decided to give birth, and your loved one is hinting at an abortion, then you should not force your company on him. Do not hope that with the help of a child you can manipulate a man. Try to maintain your pride. At least, in any development of events, you will not worry that you behaved unworthy. And don’t blame yourself for depriving your child of his own father. It's not your fault, it's just how life turned out. Although sometimes after the birth of a child a man changes a lot, and in better side and there are many examples of this.

By the age of 35, Olga had everything one could dream of: a well-paid and interesting job, the respect of colleagues and a beloved man, not only children. Sergei already had experience of an unsuccessful family life and two sons from previous marriages. He loved Olga madly and was ready to do anything (or almost anything) for her sake. He had only one “point” - Sergei was categorically against marriage and children: “I already have two sons, and I know what it is. Having a child turns a woman into a mother hen. I love you very much and I don’t want you to belonged to someone else (even if this someone is our common child) except me.” Olga tried for a long time to persuade her beloved to have a child, but he stood his ground. “Our relationship is built on mutual love, and not on a sense of responsibility and duty to our children,” he told Olga. What to do: look for a man who wants children or deceive your loved one and get pregnant from him? Olga thought for a long time and decided to deceive. She secretly stopped drinking from Sergei and quickly became pregnant. Having learned about his friend’s interesting situation, Sergei became nervous, but did not talk about abortion. Olga also did not raise this question. She was ready for any turn of events and did not hope for the help of her beloved, because he was initially against children. But Sergei suddenly changed a lot, he had no intention of disappearing anywhere, but, on the contrary, was looking forward to the birth of his child. “Since, despite everything, we got pregnant, we have to give birth.” He even expressed a desire to be present at the birth and was the first to hold his daughter in his arms. After giving birth, Olga could not stand it and told Sergei that she did not become pregnant by accident, but that she had deliberately deceived him. But Sergei only praised her for this deception: “You know, if you had not deceived me, I would never have decided to have a child.” Now the baby is already three years old and in a few months Sergei and Olga are expecting the birth of their second (desired) child. Sergei turned out to be a wonderful father, but he is still against formalizing the relationship.

If a man is in doubt, do not put him before the choice “either all or nothing.” Just because he can't give you "everything" and get married, it doesn't mean he will be a bad father. Perhaps after some time he will change his views. You do not have the right to deprive a child of his own father if he is eager to see his offspring. Of course, a child needs a father. But father and mother’s husband are not necessarily the same thing, there can be many husbands, but only one father. In any case, try to maintain friendly relations with the father of your child. Even a “coming” dad is better than his complete absence. At least you will have someone to rely on and will not have to raise your child in a proud way. And this means a lot in our difficult times.

Husband, but not beloved

To spite her former lover, Irina started an affair and... became pregnant. The girl doubted whether to give birth or not for a long time and, in the end, decided to keep the child. She didn’t ask the future dad anything and didn’t demand anything from him, but only confronted him with a fact about her pregnancy. But Andrei felt his share of responsibility for the unborn baby and offered his hand and heart to the child. At first glance, everything was going great. If not for one “but” - Irina did not love Andrei. The prospect of living my whole life next to my unloved husband was terrifying. And the inner voice, girlfriends and parents insisted that the child needed a “real” father. As a result, Irina and Andrey got married, and two weeks later their daughter was born. But when their daughter was one year old, they divorced. Although Andrey continues to visit the child and helps financially. Now Irina says that the wedding will not last long living together was false. She and Andrey tried their best to play the role of loving spouses, but nothing worked. Any little things that we simply don’t notice in our loved ones irritated us. The only thing that connects them is their common child. But in order to be parents it is not at all necessary to be husband and wife. Unfortunately, the stamp in the passport does not provide a guarantee.

Of course, quite often, practically strangers, experiencing complete indifference to each other, get married “on the fly” and continue to live together, motivating their behavior by the fact that the child needs both parents. But before you sacrifice yourself to a child, think about why. In any case, the child is unlikely to appreciate your suffering. Children are much smarter than us adults. Perhaps they still misunderstand something, but they immediately sense the falsity in the parents’ relationship. A child needs a calm environment and a happy mother. If you still decide to give birth to an unloved but reliable child, then try to live without screams and scandals. After all, constant quarrels between parents cause much more harm to the child’s psyche than a quiet life in a single-parent family. Although some believe that “a bird in the hand is better than a pie in the sky.” After all, you can spend your whole life looking for your one and only and not finding it. And here - no matter what, but still a husband. In any case, try to honestly admit to yourself why you are getting married, and do not create illusions.

By the way, it is possible that after the birth of your child, your feelings for this man will change. This happened to one of my friends. Lena and Ilya married at the age of 18 at the will of their parents, only so that the child would be born in a legal marriage. Even before, they agreed that the marriage was purely formal, and even lived in different apartments. But after the birth of the child, Ilya began to visit his wife more and more often. He voluntarily helped the young mother with the housework, enjoyed working with the child and caught himself thinking that he did not want to go to his home. And Lena, watching her husband nurse the baby, finding the child’s sweet features of his father, began to look at Ilya with different eyes - and fell in love with him. As a result, quite naturally, their fictitious marriage turned into a real union of people who love each other.

But the opposite situation can also happen - looking at the baby, you will see the smile, squint or stubborn chin of an unloved man. It will seem to you that the child took all the worst from his father. Quite often you can observe a situation where a woman draws a parallel between her attitude towards her husband and her child. While the relationship between the spouses is more or less calm, she perceives the baby with all its advantages and disadvantages. But as soon as it cracks, the mother begins to get annoyed by the child’s rather harmless actions (if they remind her of her husband’s behavior). Even if the baby inherited his father’s quarrelsome character and a whole bunch of his father’s “shortcomings,” it’s not his fault. If your husband does not live up to your hopes, try not to shift his blame onto the child. A child has no right to be responsible for the actions of his parents.

Nobody knows how life will turn out and what awaits us in the future. Anything can happen in life. Loving man someone who is ready to do anything for you may not be ready for family life and may not pass the test of fatherhood. Conversely, the reckless Don Juan, with whom you spent only a few nights, may turn out to be a great father. Unfortunately, it is impossible to know in advance how a man will behave after the birth of a child. If everything were so simple, there probably wouldn’t be such a huge number of divorces. So, when making such a responsible decision, count on yourself first. If you really want a child, then it doesn't matter to anyone whether you have a husband or not.

The monster of our time is the demographic chasm devouring Russians. When you read forecasts according to which in fifty years there will be no one living in our country, you feel uneasy. To the question “what to do?” everyone answers differently. According to tradition, Zhirinovsky was original when he proposed placing guest workers under the guise of assistants with single ladies. Look, they say, what will happen. In terms of improving the overall situation, of course. Be that as it may, the question “from whom to give birth?” far from idle. We decided to ask it to a person who professionally gives advice and makes light of other people’s misfortunes. My guest is the famous Chelyabinsk psychiatrist and psychotherapist Andrey BABIN.

Wrong move

Admit it, Andrey, have you always given birth for love?
- I have never given birth (laughs).

But did they participate in the conception?
- This participation can be characterized by the words of Zhvanetsky “One wrong move - and you’re a father...”

How many times have you been lucky?
- (after a pause) Well, twice.

Somehow unsure. Doubt the quantity?
- I doubt. There were other movements... True, they did not end with childbirth, but were mourned by women who complained: “But we could have had a child...” I thought: “Yes, there could have been a child...” On that At the moment it was all scary. Now I would behave completely differently. Now - the more children, the better. You always, especially if you love a woman, want to see the continuation of your love in children. This is cool! Great!

But it often happens that a man loves one, but, paradoxically, dates several...
- There are no paradoxes in this. If those who read this interview put their hand...on their heart, they will answer themselves in much the same way. We (both men and women) can love so many people at the same time. And everyone is different. So I love you, Tanya, in my own way. Is it bad?

Probably good. But I hope you don’t want children from me?
- Why not? We can continue this topic...

It’s better, Andrey, we’ll continue with another one. How can a woman understand that THIS is the right option, that it is from this man that it is necessary and time to give birth? Will there be some kind of “bell”?
- In this regard, at the level of the mind there are no bells. At the level of the mind in general, “Mom, give birth to me back!” At the level of the mind, life is tragedy, pain, hopelessness... - whatever. Is it true. Basically, serious attitude to life is an oxymoron. To do this, you need to be a robot, and sometimes we get close to this when they push into us the saying “there is time for work, but there is an hour for fun.” But all this is so boring, disgusting and uninteresting!

Do you think we should have fun all the time?
- Certainly! Moreover, we sing a song to the madness of the brave. While we are young, it is written in Gaudeamus, we will drink and be merry. Enlightened people of that time, by the way, talked about this.

Until when are we young? Let's decide on age categories.
- Yes, while a person’s eyes light up, like mine now, for example, he is still young. No fools! I'm starting to flirt with my age - oh, how I look! Not only do I ride a kite, I also bought myself a sports board.

Unexpectedly how. I have never associated you with sports. Why do you need this? Do you want to be in shape?
- Yes, I want joy. In general, everything is no longer interesting. And if so, it means the time has come to speak frankly, and not hide behind other people’s statements. Every person wants this. As it happens, you don’t have to speak in the media. Having skied, you can say the same thing. This is a great feeling! When your head is thrown back into the sky and you are rushing on skis - beauty! When I'm bored, I take out my winter harness, put it on and imagine how I'm flying...

How to become a man?

But let's get back to the children. Have you ever wondered why it’s rare for your loved ones to give birth? There’s “one awkward move,” and in general, due to circumstances, it’s not always possible for loved ones to go through life together. So it turns out: you love one, but you give birth to the one who is nearby.
- It’s difficult to combine everything, so that there is love, and the opportunity to raise children, and personal career growth... You can’t put all the peas on a spoon, so you always have to choose one thing. And we choose randomly. What we get is what we choose. If career growth has begun, you think that childbearing age has not yet ended. A midlife crisis has arrived, and the realization comes that it’s time to think about the soul. There is no right way. No one knows how to love, at what age to get married, and at what age to give birth. How does it work out? There are no criteria.

Is it true that in a house where women rule, boys do not grow into men?
- What do you mean “they don’t grow”? Anything can happen. Who is Blok? Boy or not?

I don't know him in everyday life...
- I know. Blok grew up without a father, his mother made fun of his love for his girlfriend. It was with his mother’s friend that he got funny while at the waters in Baden-Baden. All his life he loved those same unattainable stars, and belittled himself. He has the most wonderful words about how to love. Blok wrote that “only a lover has the right to the title of man.” But in life it's the other way around. Those who talk beautifully about love don’t love shit! Masterpieces about this sublime feeling were written by Baudelaire and Kafka. But in his diaries the latter wrote, for example, that sex is retribution for love. Blok crawled on his knees in front of his wife Mendeleeva, singing her praises. But he solved intimate problems on the side. He was very tightly harmonized and strong. When they painted his portrait, in order to give the image languor, the poet was taken to taverns for three days and was not allowed to sleep. Once at the circus he saw a wrestler who tied different bells to his muscles and, straining them, called out a melody. Blok loved it so much! And so this poet trained at home, tensing his muscles and ringing his bells.

Who is considered a man? It's hard to understand. The same henpecked man, who is commonly called a “mama’s boy,” is capable of a striking feat of self-sacrifice. For him, an imperious mother and the Motherland are, in principle, the same thing. For him, love is sacrifice. Therefore, he is capable of selfless acts. The question you pose is rhetorical. There is no way to answer it. Is Novoseltsev from “Office Romance” a man or not? And Lukashin from “The Irony of Fate”?

- “He abandoned his fiancée! Scum! - perhaps someone will say...
- Nevertheless, the whole country has been disappearing from the screens during the screening of the film for decades. These movie characters never cease to awaken bright feelings in the soul. I believe: a man is when a person, at least for a short moment, is able to honestly say about his feeling, about his position, and is able to commit an act at least once.

What kind of life is this? Not enough?
- Not enough, of course! The action is worth a lot. And vice versa. There are people who spend their entire lives seemingly doing things purely outwardly. And if you look at it, behind all this there is only an ordinary pose, templates, the desire to correspond to the official heroics.
Dreams of powerful ladies

Doesn't a girl with an overbearing mother grow up into a tigress? And then he finds himself a henpecked man and suffers from his immaturity...
- If we speak in parascientific language, I was not the one who came up with the proverb “the apple does not fall far from the tree.” There is a genotype, something that is written in the genes. In principle, the fate of each of us is predetermined. You don’t even have to strain, the track has been laid.

But we still strain ourselves, make efforts, build a line of behavior, and set goals for ourselves in the end!
- Well, all this is nonsense. Only one thing depends on us: everything that has been written down since birth will be realized one hundred percent or not one hundred percent. This written down can remain silent for the rest of your life. But a situation comes when you are at a loss, embarrassed, don’t know what to do, and that’s when what was originally inherent in you comes out. At the moment of acute emotions, good looks disappear somewhere. Take your beloved affectionate cat out of the garden. As soon as she sees a sparrow, she instantly goes wild. Put me in a wild situation, something animal will instantly crawl out. This happens to everyone. By nature I am neurotic, misanthropic, schizoid. However, by working on myself, I overcame these qualities. In fact, no one will even think that Shrek is sitting in front of them (laughs). Of course, all this can be overcome. But when I’m in a minor key, those same developments in changing character disappear somewhere and whatever creeps out. Either something kidish or shrechy.

Since we are talking about powerful women... They rule not because of a good life, but in the absence of a strong male shoulder.
- Oh, this is coquetry! Such women love to cry. They say about themselves: “I am a horse, I am a bull, I am a woman and a man,” they crave a strong shoulder. But this is only in dreams. But in reality, put a strong and powerful person next to you - God forbid, a man will come up and try to demonstrate this power of his. He'll immediately get punched in the face. A suffering woman who dreams of a strong shoulder is actually happy with her life. Sometimes I want to be both weak and romantic. But it's just a game.

Many fathers are raising children that are not theirs, without even realizing it. Is it easy for women to live with such a secret? After all, no one has canceled the pangs of conscience.
- Yes, easy, I think. If a man loves a child, even if it’s not his own, he puts his soul into it. Even if he finds out this “terrible secret,” will his feelings for the child really disappear? If he disappears, it means he didn’t love this child in the first place. So the card fell - why regret it? You have to live realistically. What's the use of looking into the past?

Life outside the scheme

Let's sprinkle some bare statistics into our conversation. 10 percent of men of reproductive age are susceptible to alcoholism, 60 percent have problems with potency and suffer from other sexual disorders. The question is, who should contribute to the increase in the birth rate, who will give birth?
- Such reasoning, based on numbers, means only one thing: there is no human, there are human factors. Life does not fit into any scheme. Feelings justify everything. And even if these feelings contradict logic, then, as philosophers say, so much the worse for logic. If you thought you were in love, give birth! I have one friend... She doesn’t even know who gave birth to the child, she just guesses. This does not prevent the lady from loving the child. She's good, she's great! And don't care about genetics! If you live by the rules, in principle, it is generally very difficult to get married. That is, you need to come to a genetic consultation, see if you and your partner have diseases, whether they are suitable or not suitable for each other, consult a psychologist, arrange a trial marriage...

But in real life this doesn't happen.
- It doesn’t happen, of course! If something like this happens, it only happens to fools who have no feelings.

Now we will be anathematized by all family planning services...
- And they will do the right thing (laughs). Let's better turn to the classics. Love is lightness. Who did Pechorin fall in love with? To the fool Bella, whom he traded for a horse. Fell in love! And with Princess Mary there was some kind of broken, incomprehensible relationship. Who could Father Sergius, a seasoned former cavalry guard who devoted himself to spiritual life, not resist? He opposed all the intelligent, beautiful aesthetes, but when a funny, weak-minded fool appeared, he fell in love with her. He was even forced to cut off his own finger. The mind, without knowing it, inhibits feelings. And the feeling is always wonderful. The simpler a person is, the more sympathetic he is to us. Is it true?

This is debatable. There are different values. What kind of simplicity do you mean? Which is worse than theft?..

You ask me questions all the time from the point of view of reason. But emotional intelligence and spiritual generosity have already received registration a long time ago. It's not the mind, it's all feelings. When you look at life through the eyes of the mind, it is very boring, it is a glassy look. Like Snow Queen. And when you look through the eyes of a feeling that never gets enough, life becomes very beautiful, good, wonderful! You can go out into the street, grab the first person you meet by the breasts and ask: “Do you know what love is?” He will answer yes. Of course, he can be very easily confused by clarifying: “What exactly do you mean?” You might even get pleasure from embarrassing him. But intuitively, each of us knows and feels the answer to this question. So I am for this internal thing, which does not fit into an interview, into the framework of words and into definitions. We are not given the opportunity to dissect the soul. And this is great happiness!

I am looking for a father for my unborn child. I am interested in a full-fledged, European version of fatherhood, which is very rare in this country. This option assumes that two parents have both rights and responsibilities towards the child. I'm 36, I already have a teenage child. I have a medical education. I am happy with my motherhood, and therefore I want to become a mother to another person.

I am looking for a person who really wants a child, dreams of teaching him important things and seeing his continuation in him. Yes, first of all, this presupposes the official recognition of paternity, your patronymic and surname in his documents. I'm looking for someone who can change diapers or pick up the baby from kindergarten if necessary. And he won’t expect a hero’s star for this.

If you agree with this, move on to the next point. I do not agree to bear the costs of a child 50/50 in the first years of his life. I think it's fair when the father invests more. In particular, the father should bear all medical expenses and all major purchases for the birth of the child. Plus a monthly fixed payment for its maintenance. Why am I so arrogant?

The father has all the same rights as the mother, but there are immeasurably fewer responsibilities and difficulties associated with the birth of a child:
- three months of toxicosis await you (it’s kind of like a hangover, but you can’t get over it);
- it’s not you who will experience contractions for 24 hours (it’s like hitting your little finger on the nightstand, only not just once, but for many hours in a row, every 4-7 minutes);
- you will not give birth to a child (this is probably like anal fisting, only without lubrication and without your consent);
- it’s not your crotch that will tear with a high degree of probability.

Few? Ok, let's continue. After giving birth, you won’t be able to sleep at night for many months in a row: the baby wants to eat every 3 hours, sometimes more often. Around the clock.

You will not gain 12-20 kg, and you will have difficulty regaining your figure (and it is not a fact that you will succeed). It’s not for you to follow a diet for months to be safe. breastfeeding. You are not the one who completely abstains from alcohol for several years of pregnancy and lactation.

And most importantly, you won’t lose a significant amount of income due to maternity leave. And your career will not suffer in any way from the birth of a child.

Therefore, 50/50 becomes honest only when the child goes to school. When the sleepless nights and sick days are left behind, the mother can finally work normally and earn decent money.

And 50/50 would be completely fair when the student lives with his father half the time. But I saw fathers who do homework with their children and take them to clubs, cook food and iron school shirts for two weeks of every month only in Europe. I don’t even dream about this!

So, if your development allows you to participate in such projects - I look forward to hearing from you. If you consider this approach to be mercantile, if you are not ready to discuss the amount of monthly contribution to the children's budget that you consider adequate, or are embarrassed to give your last name in correspondence, it seems to me personally that you are not yet mature for fatherhood. But I sincerely wish good luck to everyone who has read here))

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Maybe this is due to the rapidly flying years or disappointment that the pregnancy was not confirmed. Or maybe you dream of feeling like a woman to the fullest, having experienced all the joys and sorrows of motherhood, but more and more often an alarming thought arises: “I want a child, but there is no man...”

Representatives of the stronger sex can feel the joy of fatherhood and in a very old age. Newspapers and Internet pages from time to time report news about new dads of 70, or even 80 years old. And it is not customary for men to worry that they will not have time to complete the last - and most important - point of the necessary life program “house, tree, heir”.

The biological clock

For women the situation is different. The biological clock is ticking, and with each passing year the anxiety intensifies: “Will I have time to become a mother?” After all, after 40 years, the ability to get pregnant sharply decreases, and not every family can afford the procedure of artificial insemination.

Therefore, in a marriage, conflict often arises due to the fact that the girl is already ripe for the birth of a baby, and the husband wants to enjoy life and live for several years only for himself.

Prohibited Methods

Negotiations are not always successful, and sometimes wives have to resort to less than honest methods, such as “forgetting” to take a birth control pill.

Let's not discuss the moral side of the issue now. Deceiving your husband is very bad, but perhaps achieving your goal in the form of a cute toddler will justify this little deception.

Should I have a baby or not?

And yet, it’s easier for married young ladies. But what should single girls who also dream of a baby do? To give birth or not, that is the question? And the woman must make this difficult decision herself, so as not to say years later: “Because of my mother, I was left alone in my old age. She, only she, is to blame for everything.”

Before you begin to put into practice the decision to give birth to a baby alone, you need to clearly weigh the reasons for this action. It’s not serious to give birth just because there will be no one to come visit in old age, or because all your friends have a child, and you only have a cat.

Let's say that after much deliberation a positive decision is made. I would like to have a child in the very near future. There is a place for nesting, and there is even a bank account, which will completely allow them to survive during the difficult maternity period.

Where can I get my father?

But one small problem arises. Even the most independent businesswoman will not be able to manage this matter without her biological father. The question of finding a man and living with him and children happily ever after in a legal marriage is not being considered now.

If it were so easy, then this article would not need to be written. But alas, the statistics that there are not enough men and that there are more of them than women are confirmed in practice.

We will talk about where to find a man who will help you give birth for yourself. And there is no need to say that women who decide to take this step are selfish, thinking only about themselves.

First of all, you need to decide whether to choose a natural conception option or a medical procedure in a clinic. The decision will depend on the woman’s views and her moral principles. Each method has both advantages and pitfalls.

Situation 1. The future father of the child is married

Again, we will not condemn the women who made this difficult, without exaggeration, decision. Do you think it gives them great pleasure to sit on the bench, dreaming that someday the baby’s father will leave his family and go to her?

Such dreams take place even if the first family has three children and a beautiful wife. “But for some reason he started an affair with me,” there is a note of hope in the girl’s voice, “which means that not everything is so smooth for him.”

In the case where a married man is chosen as the father, there is less chance of contracting an indecent disease. And, looking at his curly-haired daughter or the blue-eyed little hero, there is a hope of getting himself a pair of such blue eyes, so similar to his father’s eyes.

Situation 2. The future father of the child is free

This situation is still better than the previous one for moral reasons. Here a woman is not trying to build her own happiness on the ruins of someone else’s.

Usually in this case, a man who, according to several criteria (health, intelligence, appearance), is chosen worthy of the role of a father, is a friend, colleague, son of acquaintances or a neighbor from the house opposite.

Whether to tell him directly about her desire to use him as a biological father is again up to the woman to decide. Sometimes honesty leads to plans falling apart.

In this case, on the one hand, you have a chance to choose a biological father for your son or daughter consciously, knowing for sure his lifestyle, habits, and shortcomings. On the other hand, if you don’t want to be seen later with a stroller, this cannot be avoided.

Situation 3. Meeting at a resort

The method is still relevant in our time, although it was more popular in the Soviet period. Coming from vacation with a baby bump, a woman has the opportunity to keep the issue of paternity a secret.

This method is associated with a share of extreme sports. After all, in order to get pregnant, you will have to take risks and agree to unprotected contact with a man about whom absolutely nothing is known.

It doesn’t matter what he says, what kind of exemplary family man and loving daddy he is ready to become in the near future. You may not be the first woman to hear him confess this season. And if you count how many there were last year, the year before last...

But if after the end of your vacation you are separated by a distance of hundreds or thousands of kilometers, there is hope that the baby will be only yours, and the biological father will not even know about his existence.

Situation 4. “Artificial Daddy”

If a woman shudders at the thought of going to bed with a man she has only known for a couple of days, if her moral principles do not allow her to use a friend or neighbor, then this option remains.

In this case, you will have to pay N amount of money for the procedure. But you can be sure that there will be no infection “after this,” and the father’s health will also be checked by medical personnel.

But if you decide on this option, you need to discard all dreams that one day father and son will meet and communicate. You will have to rely entirely on your own strength. And if one day your daughter asks: “Who is my dad?”, you will have to come up with a legend about a sailor who went on a voyage.

conclusions. No one argues that ideally you need to give birth to a child in a full-fledged family, raise him together, enjoy successes and experience failures. But if you want a child and the critical age is just around the corner, but the stamp in your passport still hasn’t appeared, you shouldn’t deprive yourself of the happiness of motherhood.

Now no one will point fingers at you while walking with your baby in the park, because, unfortunately, many modern children grow up without fathers. And maybe it’s the little one who drags you by the hand along the path that will be the signal for a handsome stranger: “Here she comes, MY woman. We urgently need to come and meet you.”

What to do if there is no one to give birth to? and got the best answer

Answer from Victor Viktorov[guru]
see a psychotherapist...
Victor Victorov
Guru
(4593)
drinks.the paper stops.happens...

Answer from Yulchik[master]
how old are you then?

Answer from Alla[guru]
It’s better not to give birth at all than from just anyone

Answer from Capricious.Ya. Ta.[guru]
a lot of men and you have no one to give birth to, well, not everyone is freaks and drunks... take a closer look

Answer from Irina gurlova[guru]
Go somewhere. You can temporarily get a job as a nurse in a military hospital. There, any woman will find a mate, and maybe even a husband?

Answer from Elena[guru]
why do you rule out that you will meet a good man whom you will marry and give birth to? ? how old are you?

Answer from Natalia Zhivina[guru]
Get away from this dork! And walk in parks more often.

Answer from Lyuba Ivanova[guru]
You're ruining your own life, why date a married man, especially if he doesn't love you?

Answer from Kudesnik[guru]
Marina, why else would you give birth, you already have three?
A strange formulation of the question in my understanding, of course, maybe someone thinks differently

Answer from Yoman[active]
not all freaks and drunks are normal, communicate more with the guys. Love for your man has clouded your mind and it seems to you that he is the best. AND THE BEST DOESN’T CHEAT ON HIS WIFE, think about it

Answer from Єея[guru]
And you don't tell him that you want to get pregnant from him. Just do it silently and that's it. After all, there are many options on how to do this. What does he do to you before every time... is he checking?

Answer from Catherine[guru]
He who seeks will find. He still won't leave his wife. Where are the guarantees that you will need it when you get pregnant? Does he help with financial matters? I don’t think that a man is more important than a child, especially not the last man

Answer from Mikosya[newbie]
Are they all freaks and drunks? hmm. . madam, do you live in some kind of garbage dump? There are still normal guys left in our world, so find yourself a decent man and get pregnant. . in general, they would feel sorry for a child who is born in an inferior marriage. the boy especially needs his father's attention. so it’s better to think carefully and don’t be led by your egoism..

Answer from User deleted[guru]
do IVF if you really want to give birth... but in general this is bullshit “there is no one to give birth to”...

Answer from Alekseeva Daria[guru]
well... it’s your business... although for me, you’re lying that you’re 38 and have three children... most likely you want to tie him to you

Answer from Irina Khristich[expert]
It's better to live for yourself

Answer from Alla-Alchenka[guru]
Well, since, according to you, all normal men are already married, find yourself some smart student... students are not married yet

Answer from [... ° MARRIED TO THE MAFIA ° ...][master]
find yourself a young lover with good genes and hook up with him))) and you can also go on vacation yourself... there are also very decent men there))) my advice to you: go to a salon, spend a little time on yourself, get yourself in order ... and a worthy man will definitely meet on your life path! the main thing is to believe!

Answer from User deleted[guru]
well, a woman. I don’t understand you, to be honest... As I understand it, you don’t just want to give birth to someone or “get involved”, but a normal family, living with some “neither fish nor fowl”....at first I need to sort things out in my family. and then... everything else... in short, you yourself don’t seem to know what you want and what to do with yourself...

Answer from Natusya[guru]
Use donor sperm. Infertility clinics offer this service. In general, I agree with those who suggest you live for yourself and wait for your grandchildren. It's up to you though.

Answer from 3 answers[guru]

Hello! Here is a selection of topics with answers to your question: What to do if there is no one to give birth to?